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# 3 0 9  - F o u r  T o  T a n g o


Please note: I had this script on my HD. I don't remember where I got it from, so if you want to provide a link to its original site, E-mail me. Thanks!
[Dawson's bedroom]

(Pacey and Jen are making out furiously on Dawson's bed. Then, suddenly 

they pull away.)

Jen: Nothing.

Pacey: Nothing! Ahh! You?

Jen: Nothing.

Pacey: (Groans)

Jen: God, Pacey, this is weird.

Pacey: It really is. It's the damnedest thing. I mean, how are we supposed 
to have some lurid, purely sexual affair if every time we get together--

Jen: There's no sexual tension.

Pacey: Nada.

Jen: Zilch.

Pacey: (sighs)

Both: If its me-- No, it's not you, it's me.

Jen: No, no I mean we're both-- we're both two highly sexually charged 

people

Pacey: Absolutely! Look at our track records.

Jen: Oh yeah.

Pacey: We're all that and then some, thank you very much.

Jen: And look at the measures that we've gone through today.

Pacey: (rising on the bed) We've come properly equipped--

Jen: And we've picked the perfect locale.

Pacey: Absolutely. You know, Dawson and Mr. Leery both at school for the 
afternoon, window's always open, this was sheer genius on your part.

Jen: Grams always said that that ladder was an invitation to sin.

(Pacey raises his eyebrows. They kiss again passionately. They pull away 

abruptly and both sigh.)

Pacey: Just starting to get depressing.

(They sit on the edge of the bed and start to put on their shoes.)

Jen: All right, I'll tell you what, why don't we give it a week, keep trying 
in hopes that whatever sexual spark once flickered will burn again.

(A door slams somewhere in the house.)

Pacey: Whoa, did you just hear somebody come into the house?

(Jen looks at him nervously for a moment, then they both make a run for it. 
Jen goes out through the window. Pacey throws on his jacket, then dives 
onto the floor and grabs the Playstation controller. Just as he does, 
Dawson enters.)

Dawson: Pacey.

Pacey: Hey, man, what's happening?

Dawson: What are you doing in my room in the middle of a school day?

Pacey: Just playing some Crash Bandicoot. What are you doing home?

Dawson: I had a dentist appointment. I came back to get my books.

Pacey: You, uh, have any cavities?

Dawson: No. How-- how did you get in?

Pacey: Is that clock right on the VCR? Cuz if it is, man, I should really 
be getting to school.

(Pacey gets up and walks to the door.)

Dawson: Aren't you forgetting something?

Pacey: I don't think so.

Dawson: You sure?

Pacey: Pretty sure, yea.

Dawson: Cuz you're only wearing one shoe.

(The camera pans down to see Pacey's feet, only one of the with a shoe on. 
Pacey chuckles.)

[Credits]

[Outside Capeside High]

(Andie's sitting at a table. Jack walks up to join her. He carries several 
sheets of paper in his hands.)

Jack: Hey.

Andie: Oh my God, I hope that is not your report on Manifest Destiny, 
because mine is only four paragraphs.

Jack: No, no. Remember when Dawson did that story about me joining the 

football team on the web?

Andie: Yea.

Jack: These are e-mails from people who saw it.

Andie: Oh, Jack, this is amazing. I mean look how many people you reached.

Jack: No, look, I didn't exactly reach everybody. Check this out. (He 
picks up a paper and reads.) "Dear Homo, Too bad Capeside didn't make it to 
regionals. Our linebackers are looking forward to playing smear the queer.

Andie: Oh my God, that's so sad. I mean, some poor dumb cheerleader is 
wasting all of her prime boy-chasing years on that closet case. (She goes 
through the papers) 'Kay this one looks good. "Dear Jack, Saw the story 
about you on the web. Have you been deluged with letters addressed 'Dear 
Homo?' If not, then they'll come soon. That's what happened to me when I 
took another guy to the prom last year and the story got picked up by the AP 
wire."

Jack: Who's that from?

Andie: Um, some guy named Ben. Ben Street. "If you ever need to talk to 
someone who's been there and lived to tell, you can find me in the pink 
pages under out teens."

Jack: (taking it from her) Give me that.

Andie: Gotcha. You should write him back, he sounds like a nice guy.

Jack: Yea, I'm gonna write him back. He- he's a total stranger. What would 
i say?

Andie: I don't know. Say anything. It worked for John Cusack. (She rises) 
Ok, gotta go. Bye.

[Capeside High Guidance Counselor's Office]

(Pacey throws open the door and immediately begins addressing the counselor 
who stands nearby.)

Pacey: All right, whatever it is, I didn't do it. But if I did do it, then 
I just want you to know I take full and complete responsibility for all of 
my actions.

Counselor: This isn't a disciplinary matter, Pacey. (He motions for Pacey 
to have a seat.) Please. (He sits down at his desk.) You're here because 
when Mr. Milo sent your file over to me, you jumped immediately to the top 
ten of my most in need of guidance list. And when I started talking to your 
teachers--

Pacey: Uh-oh.

Counselor: You're failing math, Pacey.

Pacey: I'm failing?

Counselor: I'm afraid the only other grades you've got going here are four 
D-pluses and one very lonely C-minus. Want to tell me why that is?

Pacey: Just lazy, I guess.

Counselor: Has there been some trouble at home? Any- any sort of change in 
your family situation?

Pacey: No, it's nothing like that.

Counselor: Mr. Milo mentioned something about a girlfriend being sick.

Pacey: She's not my girlfriend anymore.

Counselor: I'm sorry to hear that.

Pacey: Yea, you and me both, but life goes on, doesn't it? Listen, you 
think I could get out of here? I'm probably missing a filmstrip or 
something. (Pacey gets up and goes to the door.)

Counselor: You seem like a good kid, Pacey. Whatever's eating at you these 
days, don't let it win, okay?

Pacey: Maybe it already has.

[Capeside High Computer Lab]

(Andie and Jack are on two computers.)

Andie: Ok, 40,000 hits? I must be doing something wrong.

Jack: (looking at her screen) Oh, well you can't do a search on such a broad 
topic like democracy. You have to decide what you want, what you don't 
want, and then, you know, establish some restrictions.

Andie: Okay. Oh, so it would be like, if I were searching for, say, a 
boyfriend, then I'd want to meet a lot of people and get to know them and 
eliminate the incompatible ones.

Jack: You know, you really should have your own website, 
www.annoyingsister.com.

Andie: Hahaha, Jack. Ok, I really think that you should write this guy Ben 
back. I mean, he seems super nice and he only lives two towns over. I 
mean, you guys could end up being friends or..

Jack: Or what?

Andie: Or whatever.

Jack: Please.

Andie: What? You worried that he has a boyfriend? Let me assure you, a lot 
can happen between May and November. I mean, prom guy could be completely 
out of the picture by now.

Jack: Andie, stop it.

Andie: Jack, you have to seize the day! If you don't, I'll do it for you. 
(Jack sits paralyzed staring at the computer screen. An instant message has 
come up from Ben Street reading "Anybody out there?") Jack? What? Someone 
just instant messaged you. Just hit -- oh my God, it's Ben Street! It's 
him! It's him!

Jack: Yeah, yeah I know. What do I do here? How do I make this thing go 
away?

Andie: You don't make it go away. He's talking to you, say something!

Jack: Now?

Andie: Yea, he's waiting.

Jack: Yeah, but it--

Andie: Type.

Jack: I-- I don't know what I'm--

Andie: Type! Go on!

Jack: All right. (He slowly types "hi.")

Andie: Ok, well you have to hit send.

(He hits send and the message appears on the screen.)

[Capeside High School Hallway]

(Joey walks down the hall on the way to her locker. Pacey runs up to her.)

Pacey: Hey, Joey. Joey, how are you doing? My, you are looking absolutely 
ravishing today. Is that a new- uh, hair thing-a-ma-jig you got going 
there?

Joey: You need my notes from today's class that you missed.

Pacey: You missed me, huh?

Joey: Oh, how could I miss you? It's so much easier to see the board 
without your big fat head in the way. (She opens her locker.) I need these 
back by tomorrow morning. (She hands him the paper.)

Pacey: (he reads it.) What's a cosine?

Joey: You don't know what a cosine is? You're never gonna catch up by 
midterms.

Pacey: You're absolutely right. I'm not. Not unless, of course, you--

Joey: Look, I'm not gonna help you, Pacey. I've been busting my butt all 
semester while you've been-- ah, who knows what the hell you've been doing 
lately.

Pacey: I've been busy.

Joey: Busy, right. Pacey, you have a very undemanding part-time job, your 
only familial obligation is to feed the dog everyday, and your social life 
is basically a triangle consisting of you, me and Dawson.

(They get to the stairs and start going up.)

Pacey: Ok, listen. Truth be told, I'm failing math right now. Yeah, so if 
you could find it in your heart to explain all this trig stuff to me, I'll 
do anything you want.

Joey: Anything?

[Starlight Dance Studio]

(Joey and Pacey are attempting to dance. Several others are there too. 
Instead of being in dance position, they are far apart, holding each other's 
hands. Kind of like Anna and the King in The King and I.)

Penny: Slow quick quick. Good footwork, people!

Joey: Ow!

Pacey: Maybe you should probably tell me what I'm doing here before the 
other nine suffer the same fate.

Joey: You expect me to believe that you actually have control over those 
lead feet of yours? (he steps on her foot again.) Ow! Pacey!

Pacey: I'm sorry!

Joey: Look, every year the Starlight school offers a $1,500 scholarship to 
the high school student who best exemplifies the spirit and grace of 
ballroom dancing. If you look around, there about six people who wear their 
teeth to bed, let alone go to high school with us.

Pacey: Which would make you-- what? A shoo-in?

Joey: I do have to complete at least one of the two week courses.

Pacey: Why didn't you get Dawson to do this with you? Or Jack for that 
matter?

Joey: Because they don't owe me like you will after I perform CPR on your 
math grade.

Pacey: So that's the trade-off.

Joey: Mmm-hmm.

Pacey: One study session for one dance class.

Joey: That's the trade off.

Pacey: (sarcastically) Excellent.

Penny: (walks up to Joey and Pacey and tries to correct their form.) What 
did I say about ribcages touching? And refresh my memory, who's leading 
here?

Pacey: I'm trying, but Janet Reno here doesn't exactly make it easy on a 
fella, you know what I'm saying?

Joey: Like you even know how, Pacey.

Penny: (to Pacey) You lead. (She walks away.)

Pacey: We'll just give it the old college try, shall we?

Joey: Oh, don't get too close. Ow!

(She gets frustrated and stands on his feet. He dances around stupidly. 
Penny walks by.)

Joey: Stop!

[Dawson's bedroom]

(Dawson picks up some books and his jacket. While he's doing this he 
notices something. He picks it up and examines it. It's a condom.)

[Commercials]

[Oustide Capeside High]

(Joey and Pacey walk together.)

Joey: Here, this is your assignment for study hall. I want you to do all 
the even problems on page 107. And show your work, don't just copy the 
answers out of the back of the book.

Pacey: You know, if I had known the sadistic pleasure you were gonna take 
out of tutoring me, I never woulda let you have such free reign.

Joey: Look, we're gonna spend an hour after school doing math and then we're 
gonna go back to--

Pacey: I-- I know, the Starlight foundation for another afternoon's torture 
at the hands of Miss Penny Pretty. You do realize how absolutely imperative 
it is that no one, and I mean no one, find out about our after school 
activities, because on the sliding scale of embarrassing and decidedly 
non-butch activities for a teenage male to be involved in, waltzing is right 
up there with painting your own pottery.

Joey: Pacey, do you really think I'm eager to have this information 
disseminated to the general public?

Pacey: Perfect, then were in agreement. (Transcriber's Note: He actually 
said agreeance, but I think agreement is what he meant.)

Joey: Exactly.

Pacey: No one is to find out.

Joey: No one.

(Dawson comes up from behind.)

Dawson: Find out what?

Joey: Nothing.

Pacey: No, no we can tell him. It's Dawson, right? (Joey glares at Pacey 
nervously.) We were-- we were just discussing the fact that I am really 
awful at home improvement and decor, right? How are you with a roller?

Dawson: I can hold my own?

Pacey: Fantastic! Cuz the Pacey J. Witter Memorial addition to the Potter 
family home is in desperate need of painters and plasterers, all union wages.

Dawson: (warily) Count me in.

Pacey: That's good to hear. All right, so Joey? (He motions her to leave.)

Joey: Yeah.

Pacey: Yeah, okay let's do that.

(Pacey and Joey walk away.)

Joey: See ya.

Dawson: Hold on, Pacey. I wanna talk to you for a sec.

Pacey: Yes-- I, uh can't talk at all right now. I'm really trying to stay 
off of Mr. Milo's top ten most tardy list. Can I-- can I get ya after 
school? Yea, okay.

[Capeside High Computer Lab]

(Andie looks on as Jack types.)

Andie: Have you asked about prom guy yet?

Jack: All right, they were never really dating, okay? They just did the 
whole prom thing as a-- as a statement.

Andie: Oh, political commitment. I like that, in moderation of course. 
Well, what else?

Jack: Uh, he's a saxophonist, um, huge Charlie Parker fan, all-conference track.

Andie: Hmm, sounds hot. What's he look like?

Jack: Ah, come on, that's not important.

(A librarian is listening to them.)

Andie: Well, yea but he saw you on the web in your uniform. It's only fair.

Jack: We're just writing here, it's not like we're going on a date.

Andie: Yet.

Librarian: You know, I dated a guy from the internet once. Hideous.

Jack: I'm gon-- I'm gonna get that picture, yea.

Andie: Two. One formal, one casual. No baseball hats, baggy sweaters or 
other articles of deceiving clothing.

[Screen Play Video]

(Jen enters with a mischievous smile. There's no one behind the counter. 
She rings the bell. She looks disappointed as Dawson comes in from the 
back.)

Dawson: Jen, hey what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off campaigning 
for prom queen?

Jen: Very funny, Dawson. No, actually I'm-- I'm working on a project with 

Pacey. It's a human growth and development thing. Is he here?

Dawson: (he consults a chart) Um, he isn't in till Tuesday.

Jen: But he told me that he was working today. I must've gotten him 
confused.

Dawson: That's not too surprising considering what a flake he's been lately. 

(Dawson walks over to the shelf and stocks some videos.) There aren't any 
especially do-able new faculty members I don't know about, are there?

Jen: Pfft. What?

Dawson: Well the last time Pacey was acting this weird, I ended up with 
taped outtakes of him and Miss Jacobs performing tree surgery at the ruins.

Jen: What you don't-- you don't think that Pacey's older woman fetish has 
returned with a vengeance, do you?

Dawson: I don't know what to think.

Jen: But you're definitely thinking something.

Dawson: Yeah, I ... yesterday I came back to my house in the middle of the 
day and I found Pacey sprawled out on my bedroom floor.

Jen: Wow. Was he alone?

Dawson: Yeah, he was playing Crash Bandicoot.

Jen: (smiling) Dawson, I hope that's not one of your clever euphemisms for..

Dawson: (laughs) No, it's just a video game.

Jen: Good.

Dawson: But-- here's the weird thing, all right? Later that night, I found 
a condom on my floor, and then when I asked Pacey about it this morning, he 
and Joey were huddled together like it was some sort of conspiracy.

Jen: Has- has- has, uh he said anything to you? I mean, have you- have you 
talked at all with him yet?

Dawson: No, he- he took off and he's been dodging me ever since.

Jen: Hmm.

[Capeside High Classroom]

(Pacey walks around frantically while Joey looks on.)

Pacey: Can we take a break, please?

Joey: We just took a break. No wonder you're so far behind. I swear, 
Alexander can sit still longer than you can.

Pacey: You don't understand, okay? It's just that recently, whenever I 
crack a book to study, its like I automatically want to be doing something 
else, anything else. I mean, it seems to me that under the previous regimes 
in my life, every time I was studying, I was given a reward.

Joey: I offered you Chex mix.

Pacey: And I'm not talking about Chex mix. I'm talking about Tamara and I'm 
talking about Andie. Let's just say that those two ladies, they trained me 
to acquaint studying with..

Joey: With what?

Pacey: Sex. I acquaint studying with sex, sex with studying. Now I get 
studying, but no sex, you understand? So it's a little hard to get 
motivated these days.

Joey: So what you're saying is that you're merely the innocent victim in 
some behavioral psychology experiment gone horribly awry?

Pacey: Yeah.

Joey: (She moves seductively towards him.) And that you're desperately in 
need of some able-bodied female to help you provoke those preconditioned 
Pavlovian homework responses?

Pacey: Yes.

Joey: That is the worst pick-up line I have ever heard, Pacey.

Pacey: Thanks, Toots, but I wasn't hittin' on ya. I'll have you know I have 
my own prospects, thanks.

Joey: (laughs) Like who?

Pacey: (laughs) For right now, they would prefer to remain anonymous, but 
let me tell you, they've made it clear to me in no uncertain terms that 
should the mutual desire occur, that they will be more than willing to take 
care of all my physical needs, you understand?

Joey: So is this a potential relationship or are we talking a free-trade 
agreement?

Pacey: All right, listen. If you had the opportunity to be with somebody, 
no questions asked, no strings attached, no awkward first dates, no waiting 
by the phone, no any of that. Totally on the surface. 100% casual. What 
would you do? Would you go for it?

Joey: A totally empty, emotionally unfulfilling sexual experience? That 
sounds great.

Pacey: You're not listening to me. I'm being serious, but it's kind of a 
limited-time offer, so I just thought I'd ask you, what do you think?

Joey: Pacey, I think that if you really wanted to be having causal sex with 
someone right now, you'd be doing it instead of sitting here having a 
hypothetical discussion about it. That's what I think.

[Capeside Computer Lab]

(Andie and Jack sit anxiously staring at the computer screen.)

Andie: Oh, come on already.

Jack: Yeah, ok, all right. (A picture begins to load on the screen.) All 
right, it's-- it's happening.

Andie: Ooo, not bad.

Jack: You're not kidding.

Andie: Jack, did you actually express attraction to a member of the male 
species?

Jack: What? Oh, come on this is completely empirical. I mean, anyone would 
be attracted to that-- extremely attractive guy.

Andie: And I sense a blush.

Jack: (reads the Instant Message) "So what do you think?" He- he wants to 
know what I think.

Andie: Okay, so you tell him that that you think that he should travel two 
towns over.

Jack: No, I can't do that.

Andie: You can and you will.

Jack: Andie, come on, this is way, way too fast.

Andie: Okay, so you tell him that you want to meet for coffee. I mean I can 
go with you, if you want.

Jack: Yeah, that will be a lot of fun.

Andie: Ok, Jack, agree to meet at some very safe, very well-lit public 
place. I mean, it's not like we haven't done an extensive background check 
on the guy to know that he's for real.

Jack: Look, I can't, all right? Look at me, I'm shaking.

Andie: Fine, Jack. You're just nervous. Here. (She takes the keyboard.) 
Um, the picture was great. What can I say? Want to meet tonight. For coffee?

Both: (reading Ben's reply) I thought you'd never ask.

Andie: Oh!

[Screen Play Video Front Window]

(Jen hangs a poster while Dawson hangs up a noose from the ceiling.)

Jen: Dawson, I don't know how the hell you suckered me into helping you with 
your centennial Hitchcock window display.

Dawson: It needed a woman's touch.

Jen: Oh, I suppose that's where Pacey usually comes in, huh?

Dawson: No, Pacey's usually in the back sleeping while I'm doing this.

Jen: All right. (She notices something out the window.) Well, maybe he's 
rediscovered his work ethic.

Dawson: What do you mean?

Jen: Pacey, 2 o'clock. (She points out the window to where Pacey is walking 
across the street. Joey joins him.) Is that Joey?

(Dawson joins her at the window.)

Jen: Dawson, do you have one of those littls signs that says 'back in 5?'

Dawson: Yeah.

[Starlight Dance Studio]

(Pacey and Joey dance together, smiling. Jen and Dawson stare at them 
stupefied.)

Jen: Ok, so Joey and Pacey are auditioning for Capeside Dinner Theater's 
version of 'Strictly Ballroom.' Let's get out of here.

Dawson: Right behind you.

(As they try to exit, Penny stops them and moves them into the room.)

Penny: Excellent! Two more young people eager to learn the sophisticated 
art of ballroom dancing. And people say kids these days have no 
appreciation for the finer things in life.

Jen: Actually we're not here to dance.

Dawson: We're looking for some friends.

Penny: Okay, good. Well, while you look, you dance, okay? Attention, 
everybody! Looks like we have yet another set of delightful young people 
joining our class. Must be something in the air.

(The class applauds. Joey and Pacey are confused. Jen and Dawson smile 
awkwardly.)

[Starlight Dance Studio]

(Pacey and Joey dance close to Dawson and Jen.)

Pacey: And what, pray tell, are you two doing here?

Jen: Just enjoying the fine art of ballroom dancing.

Penny: (observes Dawson and Jen.) Didn't I say you two would be naturals? 

(She nods to Pacey and Joey.) Much better than these two and they've been here all week. But you used to date, didn't you?

Jen: Uh, not right now, okay?

Penny: I'm right, aren't I? You dated, it didn't work out, but then you got past all your issues and now you actually trust each other, right? See, you can see that in the dancing. You can see that the trust is there. (She looks back at Pacey and Joey.) Now these two, on the other hand, a whole different story. I mean, look at them. Look at their form. Look at the tension in their arms.

Pacey: Okay, is there some sort of problem here?

Penny: Well, what did I say about rib cages touching?

Joey: No, sorry.

Penny: Can we do that?

Pacey: It's just not gonna happen, all right?

Penny: Right, see what I mean? See the hostility, the way they're wary with each other, not to mention the constant bickering and name calling. Now these two clearly are in the early stages of some screwball mating ritual.

Pacey: What?

Joey: Ok, you've got it wrong, Lady.

Penny: Really, I do?

Pacey: Oh, completely.

Joey: Actually, you could not be more wrong.

Penny: There's enough sexual tension here to power a Kiss reunion tour. I can't remember the last time I saw dancing this bad. True.

Dawson: Wait a minute, just because they can't dance you think that 
they're--

Penny: Well, it's this theory that I've developed based on years of 
experience. If people dance that badly, then they're usually hot for each other. The dancing doesn't lie. (To the class) All right, people. Let's take it from the top!

[The Ryan House. Jack's room.]

(Andie enters to find Jack walking nervously.)

Andie: Hey, Mrs. Ryan let me in. Is that what you're wearing?

Jack: Good night, Andie.

Andie: No, I just like you better in blue. I mean, you look fine, better than fine, you always look fine, i mean Marky Mark fine--

Jack: (closes the door) Yea, all right, I sense a pep talk coming on.

Andie: Ok, Jack. Look, I'm your sister and I love you and your romantic 

future is vitally important to me, because if I wind up an embittered old maid I'm coming to live with you and your boyfriend.

Jack: So you're fairly certain that I'm actually gonna have a boyfriend?

Andie: Sure.

Jack: It hasn't occurred to you that this whole online thing could be a 
complete disaster?

Andie: Okay, Jack. Worst case scenario, you show up, you meet each other, you hate each other, you drink your mochachinos and you go your separate ways. I mean, that's not gonna happen, Jack. I have a really good feeling about this.

Jack: I'm glad someone does.

Andie: Jack, there's no need to be nervous, I mean, Ben obviously likes you.

Jack: I don't even know Ben. You know, Ben doesn't know me.

Andie: Thus the reason for having coffee.

Jack: Andie, this is different. This is a whole new level of my life that I don't know if I'm ready for. When I walk through that door and I say hello to this guy, my entire life is gonna be different. I'm not just gonna be telling the world that I'm gay. I'm actually gonna be gay.

Andie: Jack, you'll be gay anyway. I mean, if you don't go you'll be gay and without a boyfriend.

Jack: Yeah.

Andie: Ok.

[Starlight Dance Studio]

(Penny is on the stage with a microphone before the class.)

Penny: Ok, people, we're gonna play a little game. I want you to consider this musical partners instead of musical chairs. (She begins to pair people) I want you two, you two, you two, you two, you two (pairs Jen) Thank you, you two. She pairs Dawson with Pacey. They look confused.)

Pacey: What? No, I think you must've made some sort of mistake here--

Penny: Come on, children. Play nice. (to the class) Ok, we are going to 
dance happily, joyously, enthusiastically because we love to dance! Now 
when you hear the music stop and I yell switch, I want you to stop dancing and reach for the nearest available partner, all right?

(Jen has been paired with Joey and they stare uneasily at each other.)

Jen: So, when did you and Pacey discover your mutual love of ballroom 
dancing.

Joey: Obviously just moments before you and Dawson did.

(Camera goes back to Dawson and Pacey.)

Dawson: I can't get over how weird it was to see you in my room the other day. What's going on?

Pacey: What? Not everybody's got the dazzling array of electronics 
available to them in their bedroom that you do.

Dawson: And that's the only reason that you were in my house when I wasn't there.

Pacey: No, no, no, there's always the lure of the Leery kitchen which, I have to say, has kind of lost its luster in Mitch's reign of terror.

Dawson: So what was the condom for?

Pacey: What?

Dawson: The condom I found in my room.

Penny: Switch!

Pacey: Excuse me for a second-- (he leaves Dawson and literally picks Jen up and pulls her to the other side of the room. They begin to dance.)

Pacey: We're dead. He found the condom.

Jen: I know, I've already talked to him about it. I wouldn't worry.

Pacey: Really? You don't think Dawson's gonna mind that we've been mapping out each other's erogenous zones between his sheets?

Jen: The question's moot. He's not on to us.

Pacey: He's not?

Jen: No. Well, at least he's not on to me. He's cast somebody else as the female lead.

(They both look over at Joey who's dancing with Dawson.)

Dawson: So when did you discover your love for ballroom dancing?

Joey: I read about some scholarship that they were having.

Dawson: Scholarship?

Joey: And I needed a partner, so--

Dawson: So, why'd you ask Pacey? Why didn't you just ask me?

Joey: Pacey came to me first. He needed help with math, I needed help with this. That's what friends do, Dawson. They help each other.

Dawson: That's all you guys are is friends?

Joey: (nods)

Penny: And switch!

(Pacey tears Joey away from Dawson.)

Pacey: Excuse me, just for a second. I need to talk to you. (They dance.)

Joey: What is wrong with him?

Pacey: Uh, nothing really. It's just, um, Dawson seems to think that we're doing it.

Joey: What?

Pacey: Well, you know, having sex. Getting to know each other in the 
biblical sense, uh--

Joey: Pacey, that's impossible. And he would never think that.

Pacey: No, not under normal circumstances, but in this case, I think certain events were perhaps misconstrued--

Joey: What events?

Penny: Switch!

Pacey: Well, I just--

(Dawson darts across the room and pulls Pacey away. They dance.)

Dawson: Ok, so do you wanna just tell me what's going on?

Pacey: It's not what you think, Dawson, not even close.

Dawson: How do you know what I think?

Pacey: Well because, man, it's written all over your face, ok? Yes, me and Joey have been spending a lot of time together recently because we've been here trying to learn how to ballroom dance and then she's teaching me a little trigonometry. You know what's much more interesting to me is that of all the possible blonde and brunette combinations of women that you and I both know, the first one that popped into your mind is Joey. Now why is 
that, do you think?

Dawson: Pacey, you're not going to get out of this by attempting to 
psycho-analyze me.

Pacey: I'm just asking a simple question, Dawson. You and Joey-- she's not your girlfriend anymore.

Dawson: You're right, she's not.

Pacey: Right, so then why are we having this conversation? You see where I'm going with this? I mean, you're the same guy who told me a couple weeks ago that the two of you just needed to go your separate ways. Dawson: Yea, we do need to go our separate ways. It just never occurred to me-

Pacey: That what? That she would actually go her separate way, too? Or 
perhaps it didn't occur to you that her separate way would include a 
stopover at me, is that what it is? God, man! This is the way it always is with you! You talk and talk, but you don't listen to yourself. You say you're over her, but you're not. They're just words, they don't mean anything to you.

Dawson: You don't know what you're talking about.

Pacey: Look at that girl, Dawson. (motions towards Joey who's staring into space as she dances with an old man.) Just take a good look. She's a freaking goddess, man. How long did you think it was gonna be before some guy comes along and is interested in her? I mean, really, dude! And when that happens, what are you gonna do?

Dawson: I'm just gonna take it all as it comes.

Pacey: You're gonna take it as it comes. Oh great, well perhaps you should start figuring out right now because the guy that comes along is not gonna be your best friend and he's not gonna ask for your permission. The guy that comes along is gonna take one look at that woman and then just cut 
right in on ya.

Dawson: What are you hiding, Pacey?

Pacey: What?

Dawson: All this analysis of my love life doesn't change the fact that you haven't answered my original question. Why did I find that condom?

Pacey: (turns away from Dawson) Why do I bother?

Penny: Switch!

(Pacey walks away. Joey and Dawson watch him go. Jen hurries after him.)

[Starlight Dance Studio Coatroom]

(Pacey reaches for his coat angrily. Jen is right behind him.)

Pacey: God, I don't believe that guy!

Jen: Pacey, chill out.

Pacey: Here we are again, though I have to say the storyline is starting to stretch the limits of believability.

Jen: Meaning what?

Pacey: Meaning that we're two red-blooded American teenagers who, weeks ago, made the enlightened decisions not to keep our bodies to ourselves and what do we have to show for it? Nothing. Nothing, how is that possible? I mean, I've spent a lot of time trying to figure this out and frankly, I'm just drawing a blank.

Jen: Pacey, it's for about a million different reasons.

Pacey: Really? Do you think you could hit me with a couple so it would make me feel better?

Jen: Ok, how about the fact that our mothers teach us to be embarrassed 
about sex... or that we live in a country that thinks violence is cool but gets squeamish whenever two people under legal voting age start using the correct terms for each others body parts.

(Pacey puts his arm around her. After a moment, he brings his head close to hers.)

Jen: Pacey, is this your not-so-subtle way of telling me that you're ready for a return to Witch Island?

Pacey: Maybe it was the dancing, or perhaps it's just the romantic setting of this coatroom, but I am definitely getting that witchy feeling.

[Streets of Capeside]

(Jack is walking down the street. He comes to the door. He looks inside 
and sees Ben. Ben talks briefly to a waiter, nodding. He doesn't see Jack. Jack looks nervous. There's a hand on a doorknob.)

[Starlight Dance Studio]

(Dawson opens a door leading back to the coatroom. Joey is with him.)

Dawson: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you of anything, but something really strange is going on here. If Pacey's not sleeping with you, he's definitely sleeping with somebody.

(They round the corner and find Pacey and Jen making out in the corner. 
Joey's jaw drops. Dawson lets out a surprised chuckle.)

[Commercials]

[Starlight Dance Studio Coatroom]

(Dawson and Joey stand stupefied before Jen and Pacey, who are lip to lip.)

Dawson: Whoa, what do we have here?

(Jen and Pacey pull apart, surprised to see Dawson and Joey.)

Pacey: It's... nothing, right?

Jen: Yea, nothing.

Dawson: Doesn't look like nothing.

Pacey: Believe me, man, we've done exhaustive research in this area. It's nothing.

Jen: Pacey and I are just friends.

Joey: Is that what the kids are calling it these days? You guys are so 
stupid. You're both gonna get hurt by this.

Pacey: Nobody is gonna get hurt by this.

Jen: We both agreed that neither of us have our emotions in it.

Joey: And you're proud of that fact?

Jen: Joey, we were just messing around.

Joey: Dawson--

Dawson: They lost me at nothing.

Joey: Pacey, this isn't you, I mean, Jen maybe you're trying to prove something to somebody about --

Pacey: What? Hey, slow down, this was as much my decision as it was hers, okay?

Joey: So is that why you named your boat 'True Love?' Because you think 
it's okay for casual acquaintances or even friends to just, you know, use each other as scratching posts.

Pacey: I knew you weren't gonna understand.

Joey: You know what? I understand. I understand just fine. (she leaves)

(Dawson sighs and looks at them with a confused smile. He follows Joey.)

Jen: I've never in my life seen somebody so worked up over just a kiss.

Pacey: I don't think it was just the kiss.

Jen: What do you mean?

Pacey: I mean that Joey knows about our arrangement.

Jen: How could she possibly know, Pacey?

Pacey: Because I went to her for some hypothetical advice, but when she saw us kissing, I'm pretty sure she figured out that it wasn't so hypothetical.

Jen: You went to Joey for advice about us?

Pacey: Yea I know, not so smart, huh?

Jen: Smart or not smart, it's just funny you went to her.

Pacey: Well, I wouldn't say that I went to her. I mean, she just kind of happened to be there. We were studying--

Jen: Can I ask you something, Pacey? What is it about her?

Pacey: What?

Jen: She's obviously got something that makes boys in emotional turmoil just flock to her.

Pacey: Come again?

Jen: Come on, Dawson's the same way. Whatever small problem got to him, he went straight to Joey.

Pacey: So who else would you have me talk to? I can't exactly go to Andie with something like this, so I guess I'm supposed to commune with Deputy Doug, then?

Jen: Dawson. Why couldn't you just go to Dawson?

Pacey: (chuckles)

Jen: Unless, of course, you don't feel comfortable talking to him about your sex life, considering--

Pacey: Considering what?

Jen: That your current girl Friday used to be his.

Pacey: Ok, now correct me if I'm wrong, but Dawson Leery didn't actually know about you and I until, what, two minutes ago.

Jen: I'm not talking about us.

Pacey: What, Joey? This has nothing to do with Joey!

Jen: Pacey, I saw the way that you overreacted to Dawson. I saw the way 
that Joey overreacted to us. I know that you're having trouble in math 
these days, but it doesn't take Einstein to get the sum total of these two overreactions.

Pacey: You're gonna have to explain this one to me because I gotta be 
missing something here. You're talking about Joey Potter, right? The one who can't walk into the same room with me without gagging, huh? That Joey Potter? There's nothing going on between us.

Jen: No, Pacey. There's nothing between us. No matter what we do, it's not gonna work out between us.

Pacey: No, it's not, is it?

Jen: No. Are you disappointed?

Pacey: Yea, I'm disappointed. And at the same time...I think I'm also a 
little relieved.

Jen: Me too. I'm gonna go.

Pacey: Okay.

Jen: See ya, Pacey. (She leaves. After a moment she comes back.) You know what, Pacey? Thanks for nothing. (She gives him a kiss on the cheek.)

(Pacey smiles as he watches her go.)

[The Ryan Kitchen]

(Jack enters. Andie's sitting at the table.)

Jack: What are you still doing here?

Andie: Anxiously awaiting to be regaled with first date stories.

Jack: Well they tell me in order to have first date stories you actually have to have a first date.

Andie: What happened?

Jack: I can't get into this with you. You're just gonna get on me about how I handled it.

Andie: Jack, that's not fair. You're always the one who's scraping me off the concrete. Can't I return the favor?

Jack: I didn't even go in, okay? I panicked. I got there, looked through the window and I saw him sitting there, waiting for me. Then I saw this couple, this girl and this guy, and when I saw them it...when I saw them, at that moment, I didn't wanna be me. I wanted to be them, and I got so upset that I just left. So I guess when it comes right down to it, I'm just not brave enough to walk through the door.

Andie: Jack, you are so brave. I mean, your entire life you have been 
nothing but brave.

Jack: Not this time. I mean, I keep taking these baby steps, but I'm not getting anywhere, you know? I'm not getting any braver.

Andie: Don't be so hard on yourself. I mean, that's what fear is for. 
It's- it's life's way of telling us that we're not ready for certain things.

Jack: Aren't you the same girl who spent the past week dragging me kicking and screaming towards my romantic destiny?

Andie: Yea, but I know when to push and when not to. It's a little something I picked up from annoyingsister.com. Anyway Jack, when it's right, you'll know it. And that's when you'll walk through that door. When you're ready.

[The streets of Capeside]

(Dawson and Joey walk down the street.)

Dawson: If it makes you feel any better, what happened was inevitable.

Joey: What was?

Dawson: What we just saw. All right, look at it from a storytelling perspective. Pacey's brooding, disillusioned, tough guy persona was 
destined to collide with Jen's fake sexual bravado. It was inevitable.

Joey: Dawson, you're the ultimate romantic! How could you not be more upset about this?

Dawson: If Jen and Pacey want to mess around in a coatroom, that's their business.

Joey: But Dawson, you don't understand whats going on. They made some sort of casual sex pact. They're just using each other.

Dawson: Joey, we're all guilty of that. At least they're being up front 
about it.

Joey: So you buy into this whole raging hormones theory? So you think it's okay for two people who aren't in love to just let their sexual impulses run wild?

Dawson: No, what I'm saying is if Jen and Pacey made some sort of agreement, I don't think they made it because they wanted sex. I think they wanted comfort.

Joey: I'm sure that's all they were doing in your bed, Dawson. Providing each other with comfort.

Dawson: It's not impossible. It's all you and I ever did. (Joey stares at him angrily.) Aw, give 'em a break, Jo. They're just lonely.

Joey: Dawson, being lonely is no excuse to just throw yourself at the first available warm body. I mean, could you sleep with someone that you didn't love?

Dawson: No. And neither could you. But I do understand the impulse.

Joey: What impulse?

Dawson: The impulse to... to put you hand out and want someone there at the end of your reach, to- to want someone to be close to, to want to kiss or touch, even if it's wrong.

Joey: That's just it, Dawson. It's wrong. If a kiss is just some purely 
physical thing, and if there's nothing else behind it, what's the point?

Dawson: The point is that you can't control those feelings, Jo, even if 
they're wrong, they're there. They're always there. You can understand 

that, can't you?

Joey: You know, I forgot my coat. I- I better go inside and get it.

Dawson: Okay.

Joey: Good night.

Dawson: Good night, Joey.

[Starlight Dance Studio]

{Joey walks in with her coat. She sees Pacey at a table, watching the 
class. She's about to go out, but reconsiders. She walks over to Pacey)

Pacey: (motions for her to sit.)

Joey: I forgot my coat.

Pacey: Well yeah, you ran out of there in a bit of a hurry, didn't ya? 
Look, if it makes you feel any better, we never actually slept together. I mean, not even close.

Joey: It's none of my business what you guys did or didn't do. I'm sorry I overreacted.

Pacey: Yeah, you did overreact, didn't you?

Joey: Don't act so smug. I'm not saying you're right, or that I approve of what you guys are doing.

Pacey: Were doing. I'd say the time limit on the limited time offer has 
probably run out now.

Joey: Oh.

Pacey: So, you got your coat. What made you come in here?

Joey: Dawson. He convinced me to take pity on your poor, misguided, testosterone-impaired self.

Pacey: He did that, did he?

Joey: 'Fraid so.

Pacey: Man, guess I owe him another one, huh?

Joey: You do. (She rises and pulls him to his feet.) Come on, let's go.

Penny: Hey, not so fast, you two. There's a class about to start.

Joey: I think we've done enough dancing for a lifetime.

Pacey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not get too hasty here. We've still got a scholarship to work for, right?

Penny: Oh, about that scholarship. Things have been kind of tight here at the Starlight.

Joey: There's no scholarship?

Penny: No, but what I can offer you is 6 months of free dance lessons.

Joey: And what would we do with those?

Penny: The cha-cha, the rumba, the merengue, when you're ready, the tango. It's the dance of love.

Joey: Thanks, but no thanks.

Pacey: Come on, think about this for a second, don't be too hasty. We may have found our calling in this dance studio.

Joey: Give it up, Pacey. You definitely were not that good.

(Joey pulls him out of the studio, both of them laughing.)



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